Monday, September 15, 2008

Miserable 15th Sept

It was 4 years ago. I woke up by a call from my sis at 9am++. I was still sleeping tat time coz was on night shift for the previous night. Sis told me mum has passed away, and ask me to go back home immediately... Then I just quickly grabbed some clothes and rushed back home with my NAR507.

While on my way home, I realized it's been more than a month I didnt go back to Seremban, and I suppose to go back last week but I didnt due to my so-called busy schedule. What was I so busy at? It was all excuses, how far it is to travel from KL to Seremban? I felt so guilty and regret.

The wake lasted for 3 days. I didn't inform much of my friends because I didn't know how to, I can't stop crying once I needed to tell people that my mum had passed away, it was too painful and I wondered how my life would be after losing both my parents, I felt so helpless and hollow. I blamed myself for not being a good daughter too.

I didn't know it had been 4 years already, the memory is still very fresh such as it had just happened yesterday, but perhaps that's a relief for my mum, she had been suffered a lot since my dad passed away. She was paralysed and can't even talk for more than a year. I felt like crying everytime I see her lying on bed; but I still pretended to be cheerful in front of her coz I don't want her to worry about me or make her feel like she is a burden to us. I always chat with her to update her with my life in KL but sometimes I doubt she can recognize me.

Ma, today is your death anniversary, I still miss you very much and I love you. Thank you for everything you have done for me and sorry if I disappoint you, hope we shall see again one day.

3 comments:

sesame seed said...

You just remind me what I have been through too....... For the love one we lost, may their soul rest in peace.......

Anonymous said...

i am sure your mom will be so proud of you... you are doing so well now and can even afford your own home... maybe you feel the time spend with your mom is too short thats why you feel regret. but all parents wish that their children can have a happy and better life than them and you already did those ^_^

Anonymous said...

The past is past, I know it is hard for you... I really do hope u have the better life, still u got friends like us always be ur side... :)